Well, it has once again been a busy week--Calvin turned 6, and preparing for and executing his birthday party really took up a lot of my energy! But I am relieved that birthday season is officially over at our house!
First, a little update on my physical ailments--ha ha. Well, I had drematitis/eczema on my scalp, which has now pretty much cleared up all the way, thanks to a couple of topical perscriptions from the dermatologist. My chest and knee are both feeling a lot better, thanks to time, I guess! I am no longer concerned about my IUD, thanks to the physical I had this week--everything looks good and normal! And the lump is just a swollen node, like Michael said, nothing to worry about! So, that was all a big relief--glad to be given a clean bill of health and glad to have gotten rid of the things that were bothering me!
In addition, I have still been doing pretty well (although not perfect--I have indulged in a few treats) in the healthy eating challenge, and lost another two pounds, so that is all very exciting!
So, it has been 10 days since I made my last set of goals, and it has been going pretty well! In my mind I was going to make a new set of goals for this current week, but then with Calvin's party I just never got around to it, so this past few days I wasn't very committed to any set of goals specifically, and what a difference it has made! Last week was awesome. I reached my goals. I kept my home at a baseline clean, read my scriptures and said meaningful prayers early in the day, was careful about the music we listened to, and didn't watch any shows. And it was a really great week! I felt purposeful and on top of things, and better able to meet my kids' needs without feeling stressed out. I did pretty well at keeping my goal of treating others like the Savior in the forefront of my mind, and it was overall a very happy and successful week!
So, my next goal is to be more grateful and to show that gratitude more often. I was reflecting recently on the fact that gratitude is worthless unless you let other people know about it. I am so blessed in my life by so many people. And I feel grateful for the blessings I receive from the Lord and from others, but how often do I show that gratitude? And if I don't show it, they will never know.
So, this next week and a half, I will do the following:
*Write and send or deliver at least 2 thank you notes each day.
*Keep a list on the fridge of every act of kindness or service that I notice being done on my behalf.
*Give a verbal heartfelt "thank-you" for each kindness or service I notice.
*Study gratitude during my scripture study.
*Say at least one exclusive gratitude prayer each day.
*Begin each prayer with thanking Heavenly Father for a number of things.
So, there we go! My goals for the upcoming week and a half. Go get it!
Thursday, April 24, 2014
Sunday, April 13, 2014
A little update
Well, as you can see, it has been a few days since I posted! We had general conference, Sophie's birthday and birthday party, and a lot of busy/craziness! But I have continued to make (mostly) healthy food choices, which has been good! I am glad I did the food log for a couple of days, because it really helped to get me to start thinking about what I am putting into my body instead of mindlessly sort of assuming I was being healthy overall, which really wasn't the case!
Some friends of mine invited me to to a health challenge they termed "the biggest winner". We did this last year. You get a certain amount of points for up to 6 cups of water per day, up to 5 servings of fruits and vegetables, not drinking soda, not eating treats, not eating fried food or junk food, and exercising up to 6 hours per week. We started last Monday, and my goal was to get a perfect score this week. And I did it! I said no to various treats that were offered me, made sure to up my fruit, veggie and water intake, and made sure to get an average of an hour of exercise per day. Mostly that has simply been taking the kids out for a walk, but at least it is something!
I would love to start running again, but I hurt my knee playing basketball a few weeks ago, and each time I try something more strenuous than walking, it starts acting up again. Also, this week I somehow pulled something in my back/chest. It's weird that they both hurt simultaneously. I guess it's just something deep down in the middle that hurts. But if I don't stay on top of my ibuprofin doses it really starts to hurt. I am usually very healthy (in the not sick or injured sense of the word) and not worried about physical ailments, but I feel like a bit of a hypochondriac this week. I found a couple of small bumps on the back of my neck, and Michael thinks they are probably just swollen lymph nodes, but I wonder. With my dad having cancer, it makes me worried. I set up a check up with a doctor, but they are all booked out a couple of weeks. In addition, I was talking to a friend who was asking for birth control suggestions, and I was telling her about my experience with my iud. She had been doing some research on the kind I have, and I mentioned that it had been great until this last week when I had really heavy flow and much more severe cramps than the last 10 months that I have had it. Then she mentioned that I should get that checked out because that's one of the signs that it might have perforated your uterus wall, and could cause serious problems. So now I can't stop thinking about that either! It's been a weird week. Oh, and add in the fact that over the past couple of months I have had my first experience with some weird scalp condition and have crazy dandruff. It's embarrassing and I'm confused about what is going on with me! So I see a dermatologist on Wednesday. Thirty is no good, I tell you!
So, that's been my week! Some successes, some worries. I lost 2 pounds over the course of the week, so that's something to celebrate.
Since general conference, my goal-setting mind has shifted to the spiritual. It really wasn't an amazing conference experience, because we were prepping for a party on Saturday (I have vowed never to do a birthday party on conference Saturday ever again) and celebrated a birthday on Sunday, and since the kids were pretty naughty and not listening, and since Michael and I were preeeetty grumpy with them, it really wasn't the spiritual feast I was hoping for. But since then I have been going over the messages online, and I have enjoyed them. So far there is exactly one thing that has stuck out to me. Someone quoted Matthew 25:40, which reads:
"And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have adone it unto one of the bleast of these my cbrethren, ye have done it unto me."
And it was crazy how after I heard that scripture, it was all I could think about. I thought about how I treated my children, how I am so often impatient, how I use sarcasm with Ryan so often, how I try to get them to leave me alone too often, how I sometimes judge others and deride them in my mind, how I sometimes overlook things that Michael does for me because I am too busy focusing on what he hasn't done for me. Things that I don't really think about--at least in the moment--as really being very bad. But when I think about doing those things to my Savior, I feel racked with guilt. Because essentially, I have done them to my Savior. Each time I do those things to anyone, it is like I am doing them to my Savior, because he loves them so much. It is easy to understand as a parent. When Ryan makes one of his siblings hurt or sad, it is very much like he has done it to me.
So, I determined that one new goal that I am consciously striving for is to treat others like I would want to treat the Savior. I have obviously not been perfect, but I have been improving. And that feels good. I have noticed a couple of times that I have been able to stop myself in the moment and change direction, and prevent myself from doing or saying something that I would regret. I am struggling with how to quantify this goal, though. I always seem to do better when I am striving for a quantifiable goal. So, since I know that thinking and acting on a more spiritual level goes hand in hand with preparing myself spiritually for the day, here is my new quantifiable goal for this week:
*I will read my scriptures and say meaningful morning prayers at the first "quiet moment" chance I get on any given day. With how early my kids get up, this sometimes happens before we get going for the day, and it sometimes happens after I have dropped the boys off to school. Sometimes it even waits for nap time. But I am going to use the first chance I get to devote my energy to drawing nearer to my Heavenly Father and my Savior.
*I will keep my home at least at a baseline level of tidiness/cleanliness sothat the Spirit can dwell in our home.
*I will make more of an effort to keep out any music that isn't uplifting, and when I feel like listening to music, I will purposefully choose music that is uplifting, inspiring, and happiness-inducing.
*I will not watch and shows on hulu this week. Instead, if I need some entertainment or fun, I will do things together with my children, husband or friends that are uplifting, productive, active or service-oriented.
So there we go, my goals for this week! Go get it!
Some friends of mine invited me to to a health challenge they termed "the biggest winner". We did this last year. You get a certain amount of points for up to 6 cups of water per day, up to 5 servings of fruits and vegetables, not drinking soda, not eating treats, not eating fried food or junk food, and exercising up to 6 hours per week. We started last Monday, and my goal was to get a perfect score this week. And I did it! I said no to various treats that were offered me, made sure to up my fruit, veggie and water intake, and made sure to get an average of an hour of exercise per day. Mostly that has simply been taking the kids out for a walk, but at least it is something!
I would love to start running again, but I hurt my knee playing basketball a few weeks ago, and each time I try something more strenuous than walking, it starts acting up again. Also, this week I somehow pulled something in my back/chest. It's weird that they both hurt simultaneously. I guess it's just something deep down in the middle that hurts. But if I don't stay on top of my ibuprofin doses it really starts to hurt. I am usually very healthy (in the not sick or injured sense of the word) and not worried about physical ailments, but I feel like a bit of a hypochondriac this week. I found a couple of small bumps on the back of my neck, and Michael thinks they are probably just swollen lymph nodes, but I wonder. With my dad having cancer, it makes me worried. I set up a check up with a doctor, but they are all booked out a couple of weeks. In addition, I was talking to a friend who was asking for birth control suggestions, and I was telling her about my experience with my iud. She had been doing some research on the kind I have, and I mentioned that it had been great until this last week when I had really heavy flow and much more severe cramps than the last 10 months that I have had it. Then she mentioned that I should get that checked out because that's one of the signs that it might have perforated your uterus wall, and could cause serious problems. So now I can't stop thinking about that either! It's been a weird week. Oh, and add in the fact that over the past couple of months I have had my first experience with some weird scalp condition and have crazy dandruff. It's embarrassing and I'm confused about what is going on with me! So I see a dermatologist on Wednesday. Thirty is no good, I tell you!
So, that's been my week! Some successes, some worries. I lost 2 pounds over the course of the week, so that's something to celebrate.
Since general conference, my goal-setting mind has shifted to the spiritual. It really wasn't an amazing conference experience, because we were prepping for a party on Saturday (I have vowed never to do a birthday party on conference Saturday ever again) and celebrated a birthday on Sunday, and since the kids were pretty naughty and not listening, and since Michael and I were preeeetty grumpy with them, it really wasn't the spiritual feast I was hoping for. But since then I have been going over the messages online, and I have enjoyed them. So far there is exactly one thing that has stuck out to me. Someone quoted Matthew 25:40, which reads:
"And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have adone it unto one of the bleast of these my cbrethren, ye have done it unto me."
And it was crazy how after I heard that scripture, it was all I could think about. I thought about how I treated my children, how I am so often impatient, how I use sarcasm with Ryan so often, how I try to get them to leave me alone too often, how I sometimes judge others and deride them in my mind, how I sometimes overlook things that Michael does for me because I am too busy focusing on what he hasn't done for me. Things that I don't really think about--at least in the moment--as really being very bad. But when I think about doing those things to my Savior, I feel racked with guilt. Because essentially, I have done them to my Savior. Each time I do those things to anyone, it is like I am doing them to my Savior, because he loves them so much. It is easy to understand as a parent. When Ryan makes one of his siblings hurt or sad, it is very much like he has done it to me.
So, I determined that one new goal that I am consciously striving for is to treat others like I would want to treat the Savior. I have obviously not been perfect, but I have been improving. And that feels good. I have noticed a couple of times that I have been able to stop myself in the moment and change direction, and prevent myself from doing or saying something that I would regret. I am struggling with how to quantify this goal, though. I always seem to do better when I am striving for a quantifiable goal. So, since I know that thinking and acting on a more spiritual level goes hand in hand with preparing myself spiritually for the day, here is my new quantifiable goal for this week:
*I will read my scriptures and say meaningful morning prayers at the first "quiet moment" chance I get on any given day. With how early my kids get up, this sometimes happens before we get going for the day, and it sometimes happens after I have dropped the boys off to school. Sometimes it even waits for nap time. But I am going to use the first chance I get to devote my energy to drawing nearer to my Heavenly Father and my Savior.
*I will keep my home at least at a baseline level of tidiness/cleanliness sothat the Spirit can dwell in our home.
*I will make more of an effort to keep out any music that isn't uplifting, and when I feel like listening to music, I will purposefully choose music that is uplifting, inspiring, and happiness-inducing.
*I will not watch and shows on hulu this week. Instead, if I need some entertainment or fun, I will do things together with my children, husband or friends that are uplifting, productive, active or service-oriented.
So there we go, my goals for this week! Go get it!
Thursday, April 3, 2014
Food Log 4/3/14
Okay, here's what I had today!
Slice of toast with butter (about 130 calories) with strawberries (about 100 calories)
Herbal tea and biscuits for snack (about 125 calories)
Salad for lunch (about 400 calories)
3 tacos (about 500 calories) with about 1/2 cup grapes (about 50 calories).
So my grand total for today is 1305!
Tuesday, April 1, 2014
Food Log
Since this blog is anonymous, I am only accountable to me, myself and I for any promises I make. I think that is the beauty of it. If I can't prove to myself that I can be counted on, then I can't really accomplish much of anything in this life. So, tomorrow I am going to take a picture of every single thing I eat and post it as a food log tomorrow. I feel like acknowledging what I'm doing wrong health-wise is an important initial step to making permanent change. Go get it!
********************
Okay, here we go, here is what I've had to eat for breakfast and lunch today. I will follow up with dinner later!
I had a brunch with friends for breakfast. Here are the pictures:
So, in total, that was probably about 2 cups of assorted fruit with about 1/2 cup yogurt and a sprinkle of cinnamon sugar (about 300 calories), plus 18 almonds (about 115 calories), plus 14 pretzels (340 calories) plus 1/4 cup hummus (140 calories).
Then for lunch I had this salad:
It was 2 cups spinach (14 calories), 1 oz gouda (100 calories), 1/8 cup pumpkin seeks (85 calories), 3 dried apricots (60 calories), 1 strawberry (4 calories) and about 2 tsp strawberry vinaigrette dressing (70 calories).
So, it's funny to me that I thought I was being pretty good at the brunch. I stayed away from the treats. I just wished I had stayed away from the pretzels! Who knew? So breakfast was about 900 calories (!!!!!) and lunch was about 335. So today so far, I have had 1235. That sounds like trouble for dinner. In my head my goal was about 1200 to 1500 calories a day. So maybe I'll just have some veggies for dinner! I guess we'll see! And I didn't even feel like I was pigging out at breakfast! So sad. That's why I'm doing this, though! I have to understand what I'm doing so that I can unserstand how to do it better.
************************
And here is dinner! I went with light and unhealthy, obviously. It's one saltine with frosting (about 50 calories) and a small piece of the biscuit type things Michael made when he got home (maybe 50 calories?)
SO that makes my grand total for the day 1335. Not too shabby! I should be able to do much better tomorrow if I can manage to stay away from brunch with friends. And pretzels.
Beginning
The other evening Michael and I were talking. We were both voices frustrations about various things, and we came to the conclusion that the state of our house looks like our eating habits looks like our finances looks like our children's behavior, etc., etc. It's all a pretty big mess. I've been mulling over that for a while now, and I feel like I am finally noticing a disconnect that I never had noticed in myself before.
I am a capable, confident girl. I always have been. My mother made sure of it, and I am grateful for that every day. I have done hard things, like bearing four children, getting my MBA, running my own business, and running a half marathon. In each of these cases, I knew what I wanted and just went and got it. It was hard, but I always knew I could do it, and I was always committed.
Now here I am in the throws of stay-at-home-motherhood to four beauties and my days consist of cleaning, diaper changing, associating with friends, making food and teaching and entertaining my little ones. It is beautiful and it is wonderful, but it is hard. It doesn't bring the same type of fulfillment as my other hard things. When I did those things, I had a concrete thing that I could check off. People stood back and admired me. It felt good. But where I am now, this is real, every day life. There's nothing I can really ever check off. It's eternal--which is at the same time both discouraging and encouraging. And people don't stand back and admire me, because it's not really all that impressive that I am living my life. And to be honest, like every other mother on the planet, I feel like a colossal failure a lot of the time, so I really don't want people standing back to admire me, anyways. It would just feel like gawking.
So here is the disconnect--I can do concrete hard things, but when it comes to the everlasting, vague hard things, I find myself almost completely lacking in motivation. Even though I know they are the most important hard things I can and will ever do. Why can't I seem to put my skill set to use in my everyday life? Why only in the exceptional cases? Why can't I treat my everyday life as exceptional? Am I really that shallow, that if I can't get a prize and have a small audience applauding me for a job well done, then I just don't think it's worth my best effort?
So here I am. Ready to bring it. I want to make some changes, and I want to live with purpose. I want to have regular everyday goals and reach them. I want to feel good about myself because I improved at something that I wanted to improve at, even if there is no other reason to feel good about it. So, this blog is dedicated to me, going out and getting what I want, one small but purposeful step at a time.
I am a capable, confident girl. I always have been. My mother made sure of it, and I am grateful for that every day. I have done hard things, like bearing four children, getting my MBA, running my own business, and running a half marathon. In each of these cases, I knew what I wanted and just went and got it. It was hard, but I always knew I could do it, and I was always committed.
Now here I am in the throws of stay-at-home-motherhood to four beauties and my days consist of cleaning, diaper changing, associating with friends, making food and teaching and entertaining my little ones. It is beautiful and it is wonderful, but it is hard. It doesn't bring the same type of fulfillment as my other hard things. When I did those things, I had a concrete thing that I could check off. People stood back and admired me. It felt good. But where I am now, this is real, every day life. There's nothing I can really ever check off. It's eternal--which is at the same time both discouraging and encouraging. And people don't stand back and admire me, because it's not really all that impressive that I am living my life. And to be honest, like every other mother on the planet, I feel like a colossal failure a lot of the time, so I really don't want people standing back to admire me, anyways. It would just feel like gawking.
So here is the disconnect--I can do concrete hard things, but when it comes to the everlasting, vague hard things, I find myself almost completely lacking in motivation. Even though I know they are the most important hard things I can and will ever do. Why can't I seem to put my skill set to use in my everyday life? Why only in the exceptional cases? Why can't I treat my everyday life as exceptional? Am I really that shallow, that if I can't get a prize and have a small audience applauding me for a job well done, then I just don't think it's worth my best effort?
So here I am. Ready to bring it. I want to make some changes, and I want to live with purpose. I want to have regular everyday goals and reach them. I want to feel good about myself because I improved at something that I wanted to improve at, even if there is no other reason to feel good about it. So, this blog is dedicated to me, going out and getting what I want, one small but purposeful step at a time.
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