Well, as with most of my recent goals, I didn't make as much of an effort to keep this week's goal front and center in my mind. That being said, I did ask Heavenly Father for help each day to put the most important things first, and I do feel like I spent more time really trying to connect with my children and help them feel my love than I have in a while. So, I suppose I will call this week's goal somewhat of a success.
But I do feel like this last week or two have been really great, despite not really feeling like I totally achieved my goals. Mostly this past week or two have been great because Michael is finally done with school. Hallelujah! Although he still has a couple of projects he is still working on with classmates from school that do take up some time, he is so much more available to help and spend time with our family, which has felt amazing. I can feel a big weight lifting from off my shoulders. Like all of a sudden I could actually turn my attention to more than just surviving as an essentially single parent for the most part. So it feels so good to be doing things together again!
Last night I introduced new chore charts for the kids and I am really excited about the possibilities! I decided to look around and decide which household chores I am the worst at and make sure those things were involved with the kids' chores. Those include keeping up with the laundry, keeping up with the dishes, and bringing stuff in from the car. So I'm pretty excited about the potential here--I think if we can stay motivated, I will feel so much more on top of thins around our home. I'm excited!
Recently I have been doing a cleaning swap with some friends. We always used to get together for play group, but we would just sit and talk. That is good and fun and all, but somehow we stumbled upon the idea to take turns going to each others' houses and working together on a cleaning or organization project, or something like that. It has felt so good as we do these projects. I have felt like we really can accomplish so much if we work together, and I wonder why we seem to spend so much of our time just sitting around. I feel such a sense of capability. Yes I have a lot of kids, yes I am exhausted, yes I would love to sit down and do nothing, but instead, working together we were able to accomplish so much! It just feels good.
This evening during scripture study, I listened to a talk from the Priesthood session of conference. The speaker talked about a young man who decided not to serve a mission, and finally, at the behest of his father, agreed to get his patriarchal blessing. The young man was deeply moved during the blessing, because he said he was able to see just a glimpse of who he had been in the pre-existance--who he really was. And knowing who he was and what he was capable of was so powerful to him--he decided there was so way he could not serve a mission. That story touched me. Have I ever caught a glimpse of who I was? Of who I really am? What would I see? What and my great strengths and gifts? And if I could catch a glimpse of the real me, what would that compel me to do? How would I change? What would I be motivated to accomplish?
For the past few years I have felt a constant undercurrent in my life telling me that I was meant to do more. Not as in I should go get a job or anything, but that I was meant to do more that simply enjoy what I have been given and stretch my wings comfortably in my nest, with my little birdies around me. I deeply want to figure out what that is that I am meant to be doing. I get the sense that it needs to involve me AND my children, so I am anxious to discover what that might be and what it would look like. I know I am capable of more. It takes organization and hard work to take care of things at home efficiently so that I can extend myself farther, and then it takes selflessness to give up the many other things I could do with my time. But just like our cleaning swaps, I know I will feel so satisfied to look around and see that I have accomplished so much more.
So that is my goal for this next week. To catch a glimpse of who I really am, and to make that count and make it change me for the better.
No comments:
Post a Comment